Should I Get a Divorce?: An Attorney's Perspective on Children, Property Division, and Child Support.

Chris Wise
December 14, 2023
5 min read

As an attorney, I am often asked the question, "Should I get a divorce?" The answer to this question is deeply personal and varies greatly depending on individual circumstances. However, there are several key factors to consider when contemplating divorce, including the impact on children, property division, and child support.  

Children and Divorce

Firstly, let's talk about children. Divorce can be a challenging process for children, and it's crucial to consider their emotional well-being. It's important to remember that while adults are capable of understanding the complexities of a relationship breakdown, children may struggle to comprehend why their parents are separating. As a result, they may experience feelings of confusion, guilt, and sadness. It's essential to reassure them that they are loved by both parents and that the divorce is not their fault.  

Child psychologists have extensively studied the impact of divorce on children and their findings highlight that while divorce can indeed be difficult for children, the severity of its impact can vary greatly depending on several factors, such as:

  1. Children's Age: The age of the child at the time of divorce can influence how they react to the situation. Younger children may struggle to understand the concept of divorce and may fear abandonment, while adolescents may feel angry or betrayed.

  1. Parental Conflict: High levels of parental conflict during and after divorce can be particularly damaging to children. Psychologists suggest that it's not the divorce itself, but the associated conflict that can cause emotional distress and behavioral issues in children.

  1. Parenting Quality: Post-divorce parenting quality is crucial. Consistent, warm, and supportive parenting can help children adjust better to the changes. On the other hand, inconsistent parenting or parental alienation can exacerbate the negative effects of divorce.

  1. Stability and Routine: Maintaining stability and routine can help children cope with the changes brought about by divorce. This includes consistent living arrangements, school routines, and social activities.

  1. Open Communication: Child psychologists emphasize the importance of open and honest communication about the divorce, tailored to the child's age and understanding. This can help alleviate fears and misconceptions.

  1. Resilience: It's important to note that children are resilient and can adapt to new family structures. Over time, most children of divorced parents adjust well and lead healthy, successful lives.

  1. Professional Help: If a child shows signs of significant distress, such as changes in behavior, mood, or school performance, psychologists recommend seeking professional help. A child psychologist or counselor can provide strategies and tools to help children navigate their feelings about divorce.

Remember, every child and every family is unique, so these findings may not apply to all situations. It's important to pay attention to a child's individual needs and reactions, and seek professional advice if needed. In some cases, staying together for the sake of the children may seem like the best option. However, it's worth considering the potential harm of exposing children to an unhappy or conflict-ridden marriage. Children are perceptive and can pick up on tension and unhappiness, which can be just as damaging as the divorce itself.  

Divorce and Property Division  

Divorce often involves the division of marital assets, which can be a complex and contentious process. It's important to understand that property acquired during the marriage is typically considered marital property and is subject to division. This includes real estate, vehicles, retirement accounts, and even debts (depending on your state laws).  

The division of property is usually based on equitable distribution, which means that the court will divide the marital property fairly, but not necessarily equally. For instance, if one spouse has a significantly higher income or earning potential, the other spouse may receive a larger portion of the marital property to ensure a fair distribution. Factors such as the length of the marriage, each spouse's economic circumstances, and each spouse's contribution to the acquisition of the property are considered.

Moreover, not all property is subject to division. Separate property, which includes assets owned before the marriage, inheritances received by one spouse, and gifts given specifically to one spouse, typically remains with the original owner. The prospect of dividing assets acquired during a marriage can be daunting. The answer to this question is deeply personal and depends on individual circumstances. However, understanding the process of property division can help you make an informed decision.

As family law attorneys, we suggest individuals consider the overall picture. While the division of property can be a challenging aspect of divorce, it should not be the sole determining factor in your decision. Divorce is a significant decision that should be based on various factors, including your happiness, emotional well-being, and long-term goals. If you're in an unhappy or unhealthy marriage, the fear of property division should not keep you trapped in a situation that is detrimental to your well-being.

Divorce and Child Support

Lastly, child support is a critical aspect of divorce when children are involved. Both parents have a legal obligation to financially support their children. The amount of child support is determined by various factors, including the income of both parents, the number of children, and the custody arrangement.  

Child support is intended to cover the child's basic needs, including food, clothing, and housing, as well as additional expenses such as education and healthcare. It's important to remember that child support is a right of the child, not the receiving parent, and is designed to ensure the child's well-being.


In conclusion, the decision to divorce is a deeply personal one and should be made after careful consideration of various factors, including the impact on children, property division, and child support. Remember, while divorce can be a challenging process, it can also provide an opportunity for a fresh start and a happier future. It's crucial to make decisions that are in the best interest of you and your children, even if those decisions are difficult.  

If you decide to move forward with filing for a divorce, contact a family law attorney who can provide guidance based on your unique circumstances and help you navigate the legal process effectively.

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