Couple on bench upset

As a family law attorney, I am often asked, "Should I get a divorce?" Only you can answer that, but you can make the decision with clear information. The biggest practical questions are how divorce will affect your children, how property and debts will be divided, and how child support and spousal support will work under Kentucky or Tennessee law. You also have options short of divorce, including counseling and legal separation. Talking to a lawyer before you decide does not commit you to anything.

Questions to ask yourself first

  • Is the marriage unhealthy or unsafe for me or my children?
  • Have we tried counseling, or would one of us be open to it?
  • What would my finances look like on my own?
  • What parenting schedule would work for our children?
  • Do I need time apart before deciding, rather than a final decision now?

If you or your children are not safe, that comes first. In Kentucky, protection may be available through an EPO, DVO, or IPO. In Tennessee, it may be available through an order of protection. Learn about protective orders. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

How will divorce affect my children?

Divorce is hard on children, but how hard depends heavily on how the adults handle it. Child development professionals commonly point to a few factors that matter most:

  • Conflict between parents. Ongoing conflict, not the divorce itself, is often what harms children most. Keeping disagreements away from the children helps.
  • Age. Younger children may fear being left. Teenagers may feel angry or caught in the middle.
  • Stability and routine. Keeping school, activities, and schedules as consistent as possible helps children adjust.
  • Honest, age-appropriate communication. Children need to hear that both parents love them and that the divorce is not their fault.
  • Support when needed. If a child shows lasting changes in mood, behavior, or schoolwork, a counselor can help.

Staying together "for the children" is a personal choice, but children notice tension and unhappiness, and a high-conflict home can be hard on them too.

How custody works: Kentucky courts decide custody and timesharing based on the child's best interests, starting from a presumption that joint custody and equal parenting time are in the child's best interests. Tennessee courts adopt a permanent parenting plan that names a primary residential parent. Read what moms need to know about custody and child support.

How is property divided?

Property acquired during the marriage is generally divided in the divorce. That includes the home, vehicles, bank and retirement accounts, and debts.

  • Kentucky divides marital property in just proportions. Each spouse keeps nonmarital property, such as property owned before the marriage or received individually as a gift or inheritance.
  • Tennessee divides marital property equitably. Each spouse keeps separate property, such as property owned before the marriage or received individually as a gift or inheritance.

Neither state requires an automatic 50/50 split. Courts look at factors such as each spouse's contributions to the marriage, including as a homemaker, the length of the marriage, and each spouse's economic circumstances. In both states, marital fault does not change how property is divided.

The fear of losing property is understandable, but it should not be the only reason to stay in a marriage that is harming you. Knowing how division actually works often makes the decision clearer.

How does child support work?

Both parents have a legal duty to support their children. Kentucky and Tennessee set child support using statewide guidelines based on both parents' incomes. The calculation also accounts for the parenting schedule, health insurance, and work-related childcare. Child support belongs to the child, not the parent who receives it. Read common myths about child support.

Will there be spousal support?

Spousal support is called maintenance in Kentucky and alimony in Tennessee. It is not automatic. Courts consider factors such as the length of the marriage, each spouse's income and earning ability, and the standard of living during the marriage. In both states, marital fault can be considered. Read how alimony is calculated.

Is legal separation an option?

Yes. Both Kentucky and Tennessee allow legal separation. It lets a court decide property, support, and parenting while the spouses remain legally married. Some couples use it while deciding whether to divorce, and others choose it for personal or religious reasons.

How long does a divorce take?

  • Kentucky: a court cannot finalize a divorce until the spouses have lived apart for at least 60 days, which can include living apart under the same roof.
  • Tennessee: an agreed divorce has a waiting period of 60 days without minor children and 90 days with minor children.

Contested cases take longer in both states. Kentucky divorce · Tennessee divorce

Talk to a lawyer before you decide

A consultation is not a commitment to file. It is a way to understand your options under your state's law, and what you share in a consultation is kept confidential. At Wise & Associates, consultations are free and by phone, and fees are staged flat fees, never hourly. See how pricing works.

Book a time, then call the office at your scheduled time.